Dear Old Darthy
by Angel Talon
Summary: Darth Vader kidnapped Luke and Leia! Now he is regretting it! Or is he regretting joining the Empire?
1. The Amadala Twins

_**A/N: Disclaimer, I own nothing! And this is an AU where Luke and Leia uses Padme's last name and Darth Vader will act OOC sometimes, randomly…**_

 _The Amidala Twins_

 _Prologue_

Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away there was a huge war that stretched from planet to planet. Leading one side is Master Yoda, leading the *cough* horrid *cough* side is Chancellor Palpatine. On one of the warring planets is a beautiful senator named Padme Amidala. On Doomsday, Padme died giving birth to twins. Only no one knows who the dad is! So the Jedi knights gave them up to the Orphanage of Tatooine. This is where our story begins…

 _Luke, I'm bored. We should totally blow something up!_ A female voice spoke so loudly that it is a miracle that the teacher didn't chew them out. Then again they were communicating through the bond. A young blonde boy with blue eyes ignored the complaint and continued taking notes on what the elderly Rodian was saying.

 _Luke, are you home? Hello? I just blew up Darth Vader's favorite tie fighter and he is now force choking me._ Luke jumped out of his seat, panicked. _Leia, where are you? What did you do? How… wait I don't feel you in trouble… did you trick me_ _ **again!?**_ The young blonde reached into his bond with his twin sister and only felt amusement. Luke fell for her tricks again. The twins were the sole children of the late Senator Amidala, only nobody knows who their father is.

They are extremely close and always knows when the other *cough* Leia *cough* one is in trouble. They also can broadcast their thoughts to each other, which is what Leia is trying to trick Luke into doing during one boring math lesson.

 _Sister of mine, I'm trying to learn what x equals in…_ Luke's thoughts were interrupted just then.

 _5(x-7) + (8+9) =2? The answer is four._ Luke groaned loudly at that.

"Mister Amidala, do you have something to share with the class?" the Rodian called him out.

Luke, who was already sitting straight up, sat even straighter. His eyes nervously glancing at a girl with brown hair and blue eyes. She had a bored expression up until now that Luke was in trouble. Luke gulped before replying,

"The problem is Mr. Farrman, the formula that you are explaining. The answer is x =4." Luke spoke calmly, hoping the teacher bought it. For the truth is less believable.

Mr. Farrman slowly nodded his head before speaking, "Mister and Miss Amidala can you please stay in here? The rest of you, class dismissed."

All of the other students rushed out the door while Luke stayed in his seat. The blue eyed girl from before moved to a now empty desk next to Luke. "Mr. Farrman, are we in trouble?" The girl asked nervously.

Mr. Farrman sighed, "yes and no, Leia, you and your brother are being sent to an Imperial Academy to become Stormtroopers for the Empire."

"What why!? We are your star students!" Leia exclaimed frightened at the idea of others telling her what to blow up and how to do it.

Mr. Farrman rubbed his head in annoyance, "Leia, you are our star _troublemaker_ , besides that, your twos sixth sense you'll be perfect for the army."

Luke gave a kind smile, "Ok, we'll go and pack. When do we leave?"

 _Sis, please behave, this is our last chance to blend in._ Luke thought desperately.

Leia rolled her eyes, _I don't want to blend in I want to be myself!_

Mr. Farrman waved is hand dismissively, "Your ride will be here in an hour."

 _Darth Vader's P.O.V_

Why am I even here? Other than to avoid the Empire? I was at Tatooine's Imperial Academy "greeting" the new cadets. I looked around at all the kids dressed in the starch white uniforms of the academy. Just then I spotted two strange cadets. They weren't strange strange, it was just I was being drawn to them. _In strange ways the force works._ Great, now I'm hearing Master Yoda's voice. Wait a minute.

Those two _are_ force sensitive! I can bring them to Master to be… _Padme!?_ The girl that I was staring at turned to look at me funny. She looks just like my late wife only with my blue eyes. Now, thinking about it, her friend looks like I did when I was a teen…

Without thinking I quickly ran over and grabbed the two by the arms. The girl started shouting threats that I doubt she'll fulfill while the boy yelled at me to release his sister. So, they're twins! That explains their closeness. I placed them inside my TIE Fighter and then drove off. We were in hyperspace when I decided that I made a mistake.

"Leia! You can't blow up his TIE Fighter! We're in it!" the boy shouted suddenly. I groaned inwardly. _What did I just signed up for exactly!?_

Leia shouted back, "I'll blow it up once we're out! Besides that, my dream is to fight the Empire and you did kidnap us."

I nearly jumped out of the ship. Did she just… no we don't have a bond yet.

I sighed, "My name is Darth Vader, can I have yours? Please?"

The boy spoke calmly, "My name is Luke Amadala, and this is my twin Leia Amadala. Pleasure to make your acquaintance."

I slammed the brakes at that. Luke looked at me with concerned, while Leia started talking.

"Why you slammed the brakes? Are you okay? Hey anyone home? I'm blowing up this TIE Fighter!"

Me: "Can I please throw her out the airlock?"

Luke: "No! To both of you! What am I? The mediator!?"

I slowly started driving again while mumbling no underneath my breath. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I spoke up, "Her name was Amadala."

Luke frowned, "Who?"

I sighed, "My wife, she died a few years ago."

 _At least now I have a chance to be a father…_


	2. Kanan vs IS THAT A PINK LIGHTSABER?

**Sorry, dead comp. Stoled SkyTalon's. Hope this works. Have to rewrite everything. Own nothing but the pink lightsaber. Also please submit any prank ideas you have please!**

Luke's point of view.

I woke up not knowing where I'm at. The room was pitch black. Literally, everything was black. could use some color. Graoning I sat up in my suprising soft bed when last nights events hit me. The Academy. Darth Vader. Leia... _WHERE IS LEIA!_ I quickly ran out of the room, forgetting about our unique bond.

 _Luke, you awake?_

I stopped running relief flooding me that she didn't feel like in pain.

 _Yea, why?_

 _Nothin' illegal. Neat that Old Darthy is letting us have free reign. Speaking of Old Darthy can you distract him for about five minutes._

 _Leia, I'm not calling Darth Vader Dear Old Darthy, that's disrespectable. Also, why do you want me to distract him?_

 _I didn't call him_ _ **Dear**_ _Old Darthy, you did. And he'll probably kill me if you don't._

I might've yelled Leia right then if I hadn't run into _**Darth Vader right that second**_! Darth Vader gave me one look before asking, "Luke, you okay? You look kinda pale."

"uhhh..." was all I can get out.

Next thing I know, Darth Vader is carrying me bridal style back into my room, and tucking me in bed.

"You are obviously sick with something, I'll have my cook bring you some soup. Meanwhile I'm putting you on bedrest young man." Vader spoke with an suprising mix of authority and concern.

 _Hey bro, what ever you did worked, I'm in the clear!_

 _And I'm on bedrest._

Five Hours Later, random Trooper's point of view

Boss was fighting that Jedi scum, Kanan think is his name. Darth Vader's been acting strange today. From what I can tell a friend of his is sick. Didn't realize he had any. Captain Jarrus just pulled out his lightsaber, things about to get interesting. What a minute...

Jarrus frowned suddenly, "New lightsaber Vader? If so, word of advice: _pink is not your color_."

So enough, Darth Vader was holding a _pink_ Lightsaber. First time boss yelled rtreat while muttering something about twins.

Leia's pov

"... and now I kinda want to see his face!" I've spent the last two hours explaining the prank I just pulled on Darthy to Luke.

Who is on bedrest for being "sick". I don't care what he said or done it worked.

Luke shooked is head at me, "So basically you destroyed Darthy's lightsaber, took the crystal, replaced it with the pink one you found when we were eight, and put the saber back together?"

I smiled, "Yep."

Luke grinned, "Can I do the next prank?"


	3. The Party Cannon

**A/N: Today's prank goes to Catlovingmermaid! R &R!**

 **I OWN NOTHING!**

The Party Fighter…

 _Luke's p.o.v_

"You sure you can distract him without getting yourself killed?" I asked Leia for the umpteenth time.

Leia sighed, "Luke, trust me. Just go and do your prank, I'll handle Old Darthy."

I groaned at that. Her calling Darth Vader Darthy is what I'm worried about. Especially if the rumors are true. He killed troopers for less offenses. Right now we are just roaming the halls looking for something interesting to do while Vader is gone terrorizing the galaxy. Speaking of the sith…

"Luke, Leia. Do you know what happened to my lightsaber?" Darth Vader snuck up from behind us. Jumping, I was positive he was going to kill Leia right here and now.

"That was a clever prank, don't expect me to take this prank war lightly. When I was your age I was the king of pranks!" Vader announced smugly. I made a note to not tell him that we know about the bucket of water and we're happily avoiding it.

"So, Darthy? Do you know any cute senators?" Leia got up and personal right then.

"Uh…" Vader looked around nervously.

I didn't stay to see what happens next. Instead, I made a beeline straight to the hanger. Where there are eight podracers and ten tie fighters. How many tie fighters does one guy need? Quickly, I started to work with the tie fighter screaming my name.

 _Two hours later…_

Darth Vader walked in when I was starting to wash a second tie fighter. Seeing me, he shouted "Leia get over here!"

Running in Leia tilted her head to the side. "You and your brother are going to wash all eighteen of my vehicles while I'm gone, understood?" Vader explained before jumping into the clean fighter and flying off.

Grabbing a sponge, my sister gave me the death glare. I just smiled slyly. _Just what till he tries to fire the lasers_. A loud gasp from Leia's direction told me that she got the silent message…

 _Vader's P.o.v- Death Star Battle_

The rebel scum! They think since they managed to steal my new toy's plans they can destroy it! Obi Wan is leading this attack; luckily I have a personized tie fighter with me. I'll just blast Kenobi out of the galaxy. Leaping into the tie fighter Luke so nicely cleaned for me, I started to chase down my former master. I should have used the force, should have realized something's wrong. As I zeroed in on Kenobi, I fired my laser, only for Kenobi's fighter to get bombarded with confetti. Pink confetti.

 _What? How did those two got pink confetti?_ I thought to myself. I quickly retreated back home, the troopers can safe guard the death star.

 _Kenobi's p.o.v_

"Jarrus? You are right, something is wrong with Vader. He just tried to shoot me down using a confetti cannon." I spoke into my head set bewildered by what just happened. Lucky us, when that happen Darth Vader left the battle scene, making it an easier when for us.

 _Vader's p.o.v- eight hours later…_

I went cruising before I returned home to m-the twins. Making a mental note that Luke is as troublesome as his sister, I hopped of and went into the refresher for a quick shower. Only to decide that I really need to be more intone with the force. The bucket of water that I set out for Leia fell on top of me. Only it wasn't clean water. It was dirty muck water from the space crafts. Luke noticed the bucket, used it for the chore I gave them, and then put it back! Oh, this is so on!


	4. The Purple Cloak and Vader's Twin

**A/N: Time to see some purple to make an appearance! Remember, requests are welcomed for pranks!**

 **I OWN NOTHING**

The Purple Cloak…and Vader's Twin

 _Luke's p.o.v_

"So, um, Darthy?" I inwardly flinched at the nickname.

Darth Vader glanced over at me. It was my turn to entertain Vader while Leia does her prank. Doesn't help that he figured out the pattern…

"Well, I see that the nickname Leia gave me is catching on. What do you want to talk about?" Vader's raspy voice cut clean into my thoughts right then.

I hestitated before, "So, um, do you like twins?"

Vader stared at me for awhile before, finally, "I am a twin. My twin sister was called Astra."

I frowned at that, "Was? What happened?" Only to flinch immediately. Darth Vader smiled sadly at me.

"Don't worry Luke, I said was because I don't know if Astra is still alive or where she's at. You and Leia are very lucky."

"Why?" Leia plopped between us as she bluntly asked the question. I shoot her a look.

Vader sighed, "Because my mother was a slave, which made my sister and me slaves. When we were eight, Astra was sold to a different master. I no longer know where she is at."

I said thoughtfully, "So that is why you work for the Empire. You're his slave!"

I wonder if Vader was bright red underneath his helmet? Vader snapped, "No! The Jedi Master Qui-Gon bought my freedom! I worked for him because he is my friend and the jedis were my masters! After being a slave for nine years, one as a tendency to despise anyone with authority."

I blushed at that explanation. Then Leia ruined the moment, "But everyone knows His Evilness is manipulative. Who to say he isn't tricking you into thinking he is a friend when he really is using you? I mean, did you have any friends at the temple?"

Vader was quiet for a few minutes before, "Excuse me, I need to fall victim to Leia's prank."

At that he stood up and hurried and left. _Was his cloak? Yep. I don't wanna know…_

 _Darthy's, I mean, Vader's p.o.v_

What if? No! I can't think like that! Can I? _Ani, stop beating yourself up! Astra, I don't know what to do? Please help me! Oh Anakin, I wish I can but I can't._

I pulled out of the force just then because the agents, generals, and other high ranking officers started slipping in. Some even where trying, and failing, to not laugh. I loudly cleared my thought, "Thank you all for coming! And yes I know my cloak is a bright purple. I am in the middle of a prank war, and no, you cannot know who with."

Agent Kallus nodded, looking like the Secrets of the Galaxy was revealed to him. Hmm, speaking of secrets…

"Agent Kallus, I want you to go through out the galaxy and free every single slave…"

Kallus gasped, "But sir, the Empire encourages that! You basically are asking me to go behind the Empire's back!"

I growled, "As I was saying, free all the slaves, AND send any forty-five year olds that are human AND female with blonde hair and blue eyes to me for an interview. Nobody is to mention any of this to the empire or else."

 _Kallus's p.o.v_

Once the meeting was over with, I quickly hurried to my quarters. Making certain I was truly alone, I commed an old friend.

" _This is Specter 1 speaking._ "

"Kanan, you will never believe this." I spoke quietly.

" _What? What happened?_ "

"Darth Vader wants me to free all the slaves behind Palpatine's back!"

" _What! Any idea why?_ "

"Yea, he claims he's in a prank war."

" _Really? With who?_ "

"He won't say."

 _Vader's_

How is Leia so good at pranks? She managed to turn my prank of a farty cushion on me. How do they do this! Tomorrow I'm gonna send them to the mall.

 **A/N: Okay, the plotline is starting to flow! Astra will be important, and yes, Padme knows about her lost sister in law. Something with Owen, not his wife. Then again, he only heard stories of her and never met, unlike with Anakin. Next chapter as Han Solo.**


	5. Stop Singing!

**A/N: First prank goes to Budha (my star wars loving nephew)! The second prank is because I want to…Also Catlovingmermaid wrote the song, it's catchy!**

 **HAPPY STAR WARS DAY! I, un** _ **fur**_ **tantly do not own star wars, if I did Kanan would never lose his sight or die, he'll marry Hera instead.**

 **ENJOY!**

Stop Singing!

 _Luke's p.o.v_

Leia was talking about jedis with Darthy. How she got him to talk was interesting. When Darthy and I got up, she was having a conversation with a ghost. Darthy aparantly is like everyone else and can't see those. Leia and I can…

 _One hour ago…_

" _Morning Luke" Vader greeted me as I walked out of my room. I gave a tired smile,_

" _Morning da-Darthy! Morning Darthy. Leia is gonna distract you soon." I greeted, hurringly covering my slip up. We've been here for a month and for some reason I keep on trying to call Vader dad, luckily I've been using Darthy as a cover up._

" _No way! Really? I thought jedis were all knowing?" Leia's voice broke any peace we had. Turning the corner, we found Leia talking to a hippie ghost. Well, I found her talking to a hippie ghost._

" _Leia, what are you doing? Other than talking to a wall?" Vader asked._

" _Qui-Gon was telling me that he is very disappointed in you." Leia answered._

 _Present time…_

I left them at it and started my newest prank. I hope Darthy's pranks will stop back firing soon, he is behind by thirty-one points. The score so far is zero to thirty one. Finishing up my prank, I headed towards the door when Vader stepped into the hangar. Without thinking of what I was doing, I walked up to him and gave him a quick hug. That is something else that changed recently. We've been showing some sort of affection to each other, oh, and also…

 _Be safe Luke, as I told Leia you can go to the market today, just come back when you're done._

I nodded in agreement before hurrying inside to Leia. Vader, not dad, left then.

 _Darthy's p.o.v_

As I pulled up, Kallus walked up to me with a smirk on his face, "Can I at least guess that whoever you've been having a prank war the past month is a rebel?"

I glanced at my tie knowing it was now a bright pink with Jedi Rules written in purple. I can't help it but smile, "No, but the one wants to join the rebels…"

"WAIT THERE IS TWO HAVE THEM?!" Kallus shouted, drawing the attention all have the storm troopers and a small group of rebels that were breaking into the Imperial Base. Oh, we should probably deal with that, not. I sent everyone home. If the rebels win then the twins can get proper training.

 _Leia's p.o.v_

Finally, some place that isn't Vader's mansion! He probably gonna regret giving us his credit card. As I wondered the market place, having ditched my brother when we arrived, I picked at a strange tune and followed it to a Pub. There I see performing the most handsome man yet. After he finishes singing a song about Fives, he jumped down and walked straight up to me.

"Hello there, name's Han Solo. What's a pretty gal like you doing here by yourself?" he asked.

I smiled at Han, "My name is Leia, and I'm here with my brother. Vader sent us."

Han scowled at that, "Why would you run errands for that monster? I bet Darth Vader has no heart!"

I glared at him, "Just letting you know, that heartless monster afore mentioned is a married man grieving over his wife's death."

Han smirked right then, "Oh! You mean he's…" just then Han broke into song, " _dear old darthy is lovey dovey dear old darthy is lovey dovey…_ "

Han kept singing while I left, quickly contacting Luke. _Han is a keeper! No buts!_ That done, I pulled out my comm. And dialed the base Vader is working in at the time.

 _Zeb's p.o.v_

Surprisingly enough after Kallus yell about how Vader is in a prank war with not one but two people, Vader sent everyone home, including himself. Making it easier for us to steal the plans and set the bombs. At least up until…

The comms system crackled to live…

" _Dear old darthy is lovey dovey dear old darthy is lovey dovey dear old darthy is lovey dovey…"_

I glanced at Kanan, who just shrugged. We quickly finished the mission and by the time we all got to home base, Kanan got all of us singing, _dear old darthy is lovey dovey…_


	6. Mission: Get the Twins!

**A/N: Yay! More pranks! Also this story is on a roll, we are now rising into the climax… Time for Obi Wan to "fail" in recruiting our favorite twins! I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT OC'S I'M TO EXCITED!**

Mission: Get the Twins!

 _Rebel's base… Obi Wan, Han, Kanan, Hera, Rex, and Fulcrum in a top secret meeting; Obi Wan's p.o.v_

"… and then Luke said that 'Old Darthy' started a prank war with them the next day!" Han, our top recruiter, was telling us about two possible candidates that were brother and sister. Who were being held prisoner by Darth Vader. Who took them just for a prank war!? Well, they are in the perfect position to be spies. Vader let's them of free roam of his place.

Kni- Padawan Jarrus leaned forward, "Han? How did that song you wrote about Darth Vader went? The one you sang for Leia?"

Han grinned, "Simple, it went _dear old darthy lovey dovey dear old darthy lovey dovey dear old darthy lovey dovey_ it continues tell you get tired of singing. Why?"

Kni- Padawan Jarrus turned to face Captain Rex, "Told you we didn't lose are marbles." He then turned to face me, "Master, we had yet another win thanks to this prank war. While we were stealing imperial plans, someone hacked into the intercom system and sang Han's song! The voice was female, it must have been Leia."

I rubbed my beard thoughtfully, if what Kanan says is true then… "Hera," I called to the only Twi'lek in the room, "Do you think Chopper can trace the call to her?"

Fulcrum finally spoke up, "No Master. This twins are obviously force- sensitive, so Darth Vader obviously kidnap them to make them sith. Though his technique is a bit strange for his style. Master Kenobi I need you to get them here. Understood?"

I smiled warmly at my old friend, "Yes, anything for you Ahsoka."

 _Luke's p.o.v_

I hope our latest prank does the trick. Darthy told us that he was going to look for his sister, Astra. Strangely, I found thinking Vader as a family man quiet easy. Maybe because he became a father figure to us? We were at the mall looking to meet up with Han and an old friend of his.

"Luke! Leia! Over here!" Han waved us over at the table he was sitting at, with a large Wookie and an elderly man.

I jogged over to him, Leia right behind me. "Hey Han! I thought you said a friend? Also we can't stay for long, we kinda want to beat Darthy home."

Han smiled at us, "Hey Luke, Leia, meet my friends. Chewbacca, or Chewie, and the surprise is Old Ben. He actually flagged us down and asked if he can join us."

I nodded slowly, something felt off with Old Ben. Not the fact he seemed not bothered by being called old. I glanced at Leia. _We should go before something bad happens. Agreed._

Leia spoke, "Well Han it was nice to meet you and your friends, but…"

Old Ben jumped up, "You can't go! You just got here!"

I grabbed Leia's hand and started to run. I yelled over my shoulder, "Sorry! Can't keep Darthy waiting and watch your backs!"

 _Obi Wan's p.o.v_

Leia spoke, "Well Han it was nice to meet you and your friends, but…"

I jumped up, "You can't go! You just got here!" No way I'm failing this mission!

Luke grabbed Leia's hand and started to run. He yelled over his shoulder, "Sorry! Can't keep Darthy waiting and watch your backs!"

As soon as Luke said that, I barely had enough time to dodge a blow to the head from, The Inquisitor! I will not fail again! But first I need to get my allies to safety, as well as myself.

 _Old Darthy's p.o.v_

After sending home the twentieth not Astras, I started to wonder if this was a good idea. I heard her the other day though, and thanks to the Jedis, I know she was using the force to keep in contact with me. This is crazy! I can't find my sister, I keep falling for the twins' pranks, AND I think I'm going rebel because Palpatine is making live in the galaxy hundred percent miserable!

Standing up from my desk I let out a tired groan. I walked past the rebel spy, Kallus, and mumbled an evening to him. I ignored his snickers, as well everyone else's as I headed to my spacecraft. I wonder how Luke and Leia are doing? They made a new friend yesterday, Han. _He better not break Leia's heart_. I blinked out of surprise. Where did that come from?

I already have a force bond with Luke and Leia. Surely that overprotective that was Luke's and not mine. Right?

 _Leia's p.o.v_

Darthy walked into the kitchen area still covered from head to toe in clone era magnets. I think he stopped trying with the pranks.

"That because I did. Force bond." Darthy spoke up as he sat down next to us.

Luke glanced at me and shrugged. "So, we meet with Han and he introduced us to some friends of his."

Darthy glanced at us over his newspaper, "Oh? How did that went?"

Luke took a deep breath, "Okay I guess, one of Han's friends' name was Old Ben. He felt strange. Kinda like you only lighter."

Darthy leaned towards us, newspaper forgotten, "What did this Old Ben look like?"

I sat down my meelirun and spoke up, "Old. He had white hair. Oh! And a short beard and sparking blue eyes that seem to glow with wisdom and peace!"

Darthy nodded slowly, his right hand rubbed where his chin would be, "Hmm, it sounds like Old Ben is the Jedi Master Obi Wan Kenobi. He was one of my Jedi friends. I rather have him by my side in a fight than the Emperor. If you want you can ask him for Jedi training."

Both of us smiled at that. _Maybe it is good that the three of us are the only ones that knows the real Darth Vader._ I clap a hand over my mouth to hid the giggle as Luke and I both broadcast the same message to all three of us.

 _Obi Wan's P.o.v_

"… and he wasn't even bothered by the fact that everyone was laughing at him." Kallus gave us his daily report. Apparently the girl slaves he brought to Vader didn't impress him. They all were sent home.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say he's looking for something. Whatever it is, it's hidden amongst the slaves." Fulcrum spoke up glancing at Kni- Padawan Jarrus.

Kni- Padawan Jarrus spoke calmly, "If Darth Vader wants something we cannot let him have it. My crew will go undercover and get it."

Fulcrum nodded before turning to me, "You have success I hope?"

I bit my lip, "Weell, we've meet but they left before I could recruit them. I'm afraid recruiting the twins is harder than it looks…"

 **A/N: Well then that was fun! See ya again soon! R &R!**

 **Stormy out!**


	7. Meet Astra

**A/N: Hi! Time to meet Astra! Let me know what you think of my hyperactive OC! I.O.N! (For Dummies: .Nothing) Except Astra!**

Meet Astra

 _Darthy's p.o.v_

Leia is at it again. How does she come up with these questions!? How!?

"Soo, did you see the ghost or not?" Leia asked, ignoring my little dilemma at the moment. Didn't help that Luke nearly choked on his cereal laughing. How was I supposed to answer this? I didn't even know there was a rumor that the ghost of Master Jinn haunted the old Naboonian Palace!

"Umm… Master Jinn is… was one of my Jedi friends… What about your guys' parents? What did your dad do for a living, or your mom?" I quickly changed the topic.

I knew I made a mistake when I felt a darkness fall on the normally bright twins. Leia, who was normally loud, was quietly staring at her bowl. Luke eventually spoke up.

"Mom died giving birth to us. Nobody knows who the dad is. We were living in an orphanage when we were sent to the Academy, where you got us."

As soon Luke finished their story, I launched forward and pulled a strand of hair off of each head.

"Ow! What's that for!" "Ow! This is for pulling my hair!" The twins yelled in unison, Leia punching my arm afterwards.

I sighed, at least the light returned and chased away the darkness. "I'm sending these strands of hair to my private lab for testing. If the Force be with us, I should be able to find your father."

With that, I left the breakfast table and two stunned teens behind.

 _Han's p.o.v_

Old Ben is hiding nearby. While Chewie is acting interested in buying fruit. I was sitting at a booth bored. So far this week, Luke and Leia arrive at the market in the late morning, and leaves after lunch. We also noticed we know nothing about them. We don't know their last names or where their from. All we know is that they are twins, force-sensitive, about fifteen years of age, and they live with Darth Vader.

Just then the twins appear and slipped into the booth across from me. Leia immediately started to talk, "Honestly! Darthy could have warned us what he was doing! I mean that hurt! Don't deny it Luke, I heard you scream like a girl!"

I jumped at that, "Wait Darth Vader hurt the two of you?"

Luke rolled his eyes, "Not by much, Leia is just exaggerating. We were kind of grieving, and he was trying to cheer us up." I made note that something was causing them grieve… and to never go to Darth Vader for comfort.

"Okay… I think I seen Old Ben around here somewhere…" I started, hoping to get this mission over with.

"Really!? Cool! Darthy told us that Old Ben was a highly skilled Jedi during the war!" Luke yelled suddenly. Everyone was now staring at us, oh! And nearby was a loud thud.

Standing, I quickly mumbled, "Excuse me while I take my friend to the med bay." At that Chewbacca and I grabbed an unconscious Jedi and bolted for it.

 _Darthy's p.o.v_

Can today get any _longer_? Kallus and every other trooper keeps asking me what prank I'm falling for _today_! I was in the middle of "interviewing" a cadet when I felt an old, but familiar presence. Outside my office. In my tie fighter!

Panicking, and not explaining myself, I leapt up and bolted out the door. Running like death itself was chasing me; I headed straight to my private hangar. I arrived in time to see my tie fighter leave without me. Smiling, I sat down on a work bench.

 _The cadet's p.o.v_

"Umm, what just happen?" I asked nobody in particular. I was in the middle of an interview with Darth Vader when he fled suddenly in a panic.

"You ask me. Lord Vader is in the middle of a prank war, maybe he just realized what the pranksters are up too. Then again, I he normally doesn't abandon his post like that." A voice spoke from behind me.

Jumping, I spun around to see a man with blonde hair and blue eyes just standing there. He gave me a kind smile, "Name's Agent Kallus. Now can you tell me everything that happened since you arrived."

Stun, I nodded my head slowly.

 _Darthy's p.o.v_

I looked up from my holopad when I heard the telltale signs of a fast approaching tie fighter. Putting it away, I headed towards the stolen ship grinning.

"Normally I force choked anyone that is dumb enough to steal from me." My smile grew at that, "but with you, I will make an exception." When I finished talking, the fighter's door flung open and a woman with a long blond braid and blue eyes stepped out.

"Hey Ani! You know I always return what I take, remember Mr. Snugglepants?" She asked energetically.

For once, I'm glad no one can see me blush. I spoke tersely, "Yes Astra, I remember. I also remember Mom telling you to stop taking my stuff!"

Astra just laughed, "Mom's not here, besides that WHY ARE YOU IN THAT OUTFIT!? YOU LOOK LIKE A DROID!?"

Really glad nobody can see me blush. I sighed, "Not here sis. Just get in the tie with me. I'll explain on the way to my place."

With that said, we climbed into the tie. I vaguely noticed Agent Kallus walked in right then.

"He's a spy for the rebellion." Astra bluntly told me. I glanced at her and smiled.

"Tell me what I don't know."

 _Three hours later…_

"I put Master Kenobi in the hospital." Was the first thing I heard when we entered the sitting room. Luke and Leia were in there playing dejerick.

I yelped, "What!?"

Leia sighed, "Don't worry Darthy, it was an accident. Who's your friend?"

Astra leapt forward eagerly, "Name's Astra! I'm his big sis. You two must be Luke and Leia! Pleasure to meet you!"

Luke got up and walked over to us, "And it's our pleasure to meet you. Darthy, the test results arrived while you were gone. We didn't recognize the name, so we wanted you to look at it."

I smiled warmly, "Alright Luke, where is the results?"

Astra interrupted me right then, "Hold it right there bro! You said you are in a droid suit because you fell into hot lava. I always knew you were an idiot, just not that big of an idiot. I want to see if I can use the force to heal you. Now HOLD STILL!"

"We'll help!" Luke and Leia chimed in together. Just then a bright golden colored light filled the room.

Once the light was gone, I took of my helmet for the first time in years. "I didn't know you could re-grow limbs with the force." I complimented as I took of my gloves and boots, curling my new toes as I did so.

Astra beamed, "It's like Mom said! Nothin' stronger than the power of love!"

Luke stepped forward, handing me a holopad, "I can see the family resemblance between you two now. Also here's the test results."

Smiling, I took them from Luke, "Thank you, now let's see you your elusive father is." At that, I looked down at the holopad and fainted afterwards.


	8. Vader Saves Kallus

**A/N: Bookkeeper- Not exactly what happened in my head cannon but funny still. This chappie takes place the next day. I.O.N (For Dummies: .Nothing) Except Astra!**

Vader Saves Kallus… and Gives Him Spying Tips.

 _Luke's p.o.v_

Yawning, I stretched in bed before rolling over. Honestly, I'm too tired to get up. After learning who our father is, and consequently our aunt, we had to take Darthy to the med bay and after that go shopping because we only had food for two people, not four! This all lead to a really late night.

I was about to fall back to sleep when, "Astra Skywalker! What did I told you about taking my stuff!"

Quickly, I jumped out of bed and rushed outside. Where are bullet of blonde hair and sky blue eyes rammed into me.

"Um, hi Aunt Astra. Isn't that Darthy's lightsaber?" I asked my newfound aunt, who had Darthy's lightsaber.

Astra grinned, "What, this old thing? Yea, it is. If Ani asks, I don't have it." With that she bolted down the hallway. Before I can remind her that 1, we're all connected to the force, and 2, Leia already did the turn the lightsaber pink trick.

Turning the corner I was greeted with the weirdest sight. Darthy, also known as Anakin Skywalker, was half in his Vader suit and half out.

"Hey, Darthy? Can I borrow your credit card? Leia and I are meeting up with a friend for lunch later today." I asked, playing the all innocent kid that I am.

Darthy glanced at me, "Luke, don't play innocent. Did Astra came through her with my lightsaber? Tell me the truth and I might give you my credits."

I calmly pointed the way I came, then walked off. I quickly found Leia, got some credits (Thanks Darthy!) and hurried to the catina that Han seems to always visit.

 _Two hours later…_

"Hey Han! How's Old Ben doing?" Leia called out as we walked up to our friend.

Han looked up at us. "Hey Luke, hey Leia. Old Ben was released this morning. He's at home resting. What prank did you pull this morning?"

I smiled, "Actually, we ran out of prank ideas, so you might ask Aunt Astra what she did since I think she started."

Han jumped, "Wait, who?!"

 _Darthy's p.o.v_

I was walking in stride with Kallus when Palpatine arrived. The fruitcake quickly made his way over to us.

"Vader! There is a spy here and I want them dealt with immediately!" Palpatine shouted once he was positive he had my attention. I could feel Agent Kallus fear of being discovered. He was also producing into the force his utter betrayal.

I rolled my eyes. Amateurs. I quickly looked around looking for some one hundred percent loyal to this fruitcake. Finding what I needed, I turned to the emperor,

"Already found him." I could feel a spike of fear next to me, "It's the Seventh Sister! The other day I found out she is a Jedi in disguise."

Kallus almost fainted right then if I didn't grab hold of him. Palpatine nodded, "Okay, that is all I wanted. Take care of it."

I quickly grabbed Agent Kallus and bolted to where the Seventh Sister was casually leaning against the wall.

"Hi Lord Vader. What did the bo…" before she could finish her question, I used my once again pink lightsaber to cut her down. Then I dragged Kallus into an empty room, locking the door behind us.

"Amateurs! Seriously! You need to learn to hid your feelings better if you are going to spy on Palpatine! You are lucky I was there to cover for you! Next time don't focus on the mission; focus on who you are doing it for!" I yelled at Kallus who looked completely lost. Growling, I then stormed out.

 _Kallus's p.o.v_

What just happened? First Darth Vader insisted the spy was one of the inquisitors. Then he… lectured me on how to spy on Palpatine. How is this a prank on the mystery twins? It doesn't make any sense and it's helping the rebellion!

"Kanan, I'm giving myself a vacation." I spoke into my commlink.

" _okay, any reason why?_ " Kanan's voice crackled through.

"You'll never believe me but I think Vader just covered for me." I honestly answered back.

This prank war just got confusing.


	9. Wait Who is Their Father?

**A/N: Umm. Mind draws blank. Hey! The Rebellion still don't know they are recruiting Darth Vader's kids! Let's have some fun with this! Also I am almost done with this story and starting a new star wars story that also stars Astra Skywalker and a random girl she kidnapped…**

 **I.O.N!**

Who is Their Father!?

 _Kallus's p.o.v_

"So, Vader lectured you on how to be a better spy?" Zeb asked me for the hundredth time.

I sighed. I was at home base eating lunch with the ghost crew telling them what happened yesterday.

"Yes, for the last time. That's why I'm eating lunch with you guys." I explained once again.

The little Jedi spoke up next, "Maybe it wasn't Darth Vader, maybe it was Luke in disguise?"

Kanan nodded his head, "Ezra has a point. It could be a twisted idea of a prank of his."

Hera stood up, "I don't know about you boys, but I'm going to find Ahsoka and Sabine and see what is taking them so long."

I grimaced, "You do that, I need to get back to work."

Of course I should have stayed. The second I arrived, I noticed Darth Vader is covered in flowery magnets, and his cloak is pink. Today is going to be strange.

 _Luke's p.o.v_

"… I think Darthy rolled his eyes when he saw the mess Aunt Astra made of his uniform." I laughed as I finished telling Han about the latest prank. Leia had gone birthday shopping with Astra.

Han gasped, "Okay, your aunt has some strange idea at humor, also we were wondering if you would like to join the rebellion?"

I smiled, "Sure thing, but shouldn't we ask our Dad first? He's no fun if you get on his bad side."

Han smiled back, "Sure thing. Same time tomorrow?"

"Sure thing." I then left to find the rest of my family. And quickly make a purchase on the way out.

 _Han's p.o.v_

I got up to leave with Chewie when I froze. "Wait, who is their father?"

 _Darthy's p.o.v_

After work, I headed home to my family. Hopefully they forgot what today is. I haven't celebrated in years and don't want to start. I walked into my mansion and noticed the lights were off.

Frowning, I took off my helmet, "Astra? Luke? Leia? Anyone here? I… can't sense you… did that old fruitcake gotcha while I was away!?"

Just then the lights turned on, and I was temporally blinded by my family's combined force signatures. Blinking, I turned to face them and noticed a Jedi themed birthday cake, a birthday present, and Jedi themed balloons.

"Surprise!" Astra and the twins jumped up and shouted.

"But how, I didn't tell you today is my birthday!" I spluttered out of surprise.

Astra just laughed at my befuddled expression, "Ani, as your older sister it is my job to remember your birthday!"

Luke interrupted just then, "You do realize that as twins you share a birthday? Also, Happy Birthday Darthy, Happy birthday Aunt Astra!" The last part was said in unison with Leia as she pulled out a second birthday present.

I turned to see Astra looking as befuddled as I did early. "Remember how we were little one of us always forgets that we share a birthday? And Mom kept saying one of these years both of us would forget? I think it is this year."

Astra nodded her head in quiet agreement. We then opened up our presents. I got a _Speeders 101_ holopad, while Astra got a book on _Pranks for Dummies_. Leia jumped up,

"Oops, it was supposed to be the other way around."

"Are you saying I'm bad at pranks? Because you are right. Maybe now I can get you and Astra." I said jokingly.

We started to cut the cake when Luke spoke up, "Hey, umm, Dad? Can I ask you something?"

I frowned, "Luke, what did you do?"

Luke quickly backed up, "Nothing! Han wants me to join the rebellion, and I thought I'd ask you first."

I laughed, "Is that all? Course you can join! Here let me get some top secret plans that only Palpatine and I have access to, to give to the rebels."

 _Kanan's p.o.v_

Han barged into Home Base out of breathe. Lando looked at him before jokingly saying, "Hey Han, Vader got your song?"

Han straightened up and looked straight at me and Falcrum, "I wish. I finally asked Luke to join, and he said he needs to ask his dad first."

"Wait… who is their father!?" basically everyone in earshot shouted in unison.

I turned to face Hera, "This just got interesting. Any clue if their father let's them join or turns Han in?"


	10. Meet the Family

**A/N: Okay, Kanan and Hera are placing bets on wither Luke's dad would let him join or not. Also, Han is going to get in hot water and 'Vader' rescues, him. R &R I.O.N! Thank Catlovingmermaid for getting my creative juices flowing again.**

Han Meets the Family

 _Han's p.o.v_

Maybe I shouldn't have help out on that last mission. The same troopers that I dodged last week are in the mall. And one of them recognized me…

 _Luke's p.o.v_

"Morning Darthy." I yawned as I wandered into the kitchen.

"Technically, I never met Owen, and neither did the kids. Come on Ani it will be lots of fun!" Astra was pleading to Darthy at the breakfast table.

I walked over to the bar where Leia was sitting already, "What did I miss?"

I started to drink a glass of blue milk when,

"Nothing much. Darthy and Aunt Astra are arguing on wither we should visit Uncle Owen or not." Leia answered nonchantly.

I spat the blue milk all over Darthy's lothcat footies. "What!? We have another relative?! Darthy, we HAVE to visit him!"

Darthy sighed, "Seems like I'm out voted. Let's go buy some things for the trip."

Three loud cheers filled the mansion. Maybe it's a good thing our family are the only ones here…

 _Han's p.o.v_

"There's a rebel! Get him!" A trooper yelled as he started to chase me. Panicking, I started to run. I kept running until I literally crashed into Leia, who was with Darth Vader!

"I'll take him from here." Vader spoke calmly as he placed his gloved hand on my shoulders. I'm dead.

"But sir, I thought…" The same trooper from before started to speak up only for Darth Vader to cut him off.

"You are paid to blindly follow, not to think. Now excuse me, I have a prisoner to interrogate." With that he dragged me away with Leia following.

Terror filled me as it occurred to me what was happening. The twins were working undercover for Darth Vader! I started to struggle against him when we went into a space shuttle that read _Vader's Property_ on the side. Really not wanting to be interrogated by a Sith Lord, I turned around and sent my knee into the place that the sun don't shine. Only to learn it wasn't Vader.

A tall man with blue eyes and dark blonde hair stepped forward right then. "I was going to ask why Luke is disguished as a Sith Lord, but now I'm just going to ask WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON!? YOU BETTER NOT HAVE JOINED THE BUCKETHEADS!"

Sure enough, the Vader helmet fell off to reveal an in pain Luke. Know that I think about it, Leia was laughing this enter time. I frowned confused, "Who are you and what is going on?"

"Yes son, what are you up to?" The mystery man demanded.

Luke gave him a sly smile, "Hey Darthy, meet Han, Han meet Darthy."

I quickly spun around gasping, "Wait! You're Darthy? I thought they were in a prank war with Darth Vader!"

The mystery man just laughed, "Okay I think Astra is already headed straight to Owen's farm so I guess Han can stay… Also my name isn't Darthy." Luke and Leia bolted out of the room, Luke's realistic Vader custom laying scattered on the ground.

I turned to face Darthy, "Okay, nice to know that the mysterious Aunt Astra is here. If you aren't Darthy then you are you?"

He flashed me a big grin, "Don't know why my kids insist on calling me Darthy. Well, I guess they do call me Dad when they're in trouble. Name's Anakin Skywalker. And my sister isn't mysterious, just crazy. We are on our way to visit our brother Owen. Well, the younger twins' uncle. You can join if you want."

With that, Mr. Skywalker started to walk off when, "Mr. Skywalker wait!" I hollered suddenly.

He turned to face me, eyebrow raised, "Yes Han?"

I sheepishly smiled, "You're a great father."

Mr. Skywalker looked at me shocked, "Thanks, no one ever complimented my parenting skills before."

 _Owen's p.o.v_

"No." I firmly informed my half brother. Who showed up on my doorstep with our sister and his two kids and their friend. And want to spend the weekend with us.

"But Owen! Mom married Clieg, you is your father so that makes you family! WE need this moment to bond! Please let us stay the weekend!" Anakin basically threw himself onto the ground.

Rolling his eyes, Han stepped forward, "Listen, it is dinnertime and we are several light-years from home. At least let us spend this one night. Then if you change your mind, fine with us. Deal?"

I thought about it before stretching my hand forward, "Deal."

 _Darthy's p.o.v_

While everyone was figuring out rooms, I pulled Han to the side.

"You need something Mr. Skywalker?" Han asked me nervously.

I smiled, "Yes, are you any good with pranks?"

Han raised an eyebrow at me, "Yeeessss, this doesn't have to do with the prank war you're in with Luke and Leia, does it?"

I chuckled lightly at his nervous look, "Actually, yes. I need your help in getting them back. Also, if you dare break Leia's heart, well, you met the family."

Not liking the sound of that, I slowly nodded my head in agreement…

 _Monday, Ahsoka's p.o.v_

I walked up to Jarrus carrying a large pile of papers. Only to drop them when I saw Han walk in covered in shaving cream, feathers, and glitter. He took on glance at our surprised looks before bluntly saying,

"Never ever get in a prank war with 'Darthy'. Never."

 **A/N: You can guess what happened during the weekend… Now Han is in the war, and trying to help Anakin! This is gonna be fun!**


	11. HowtoWinaPrankWar

**A/N: Hi! Okay, I posted A Skywalker Adventure the other day… Also this entire chapter takes place in a flash back. Let's just say Owen is really good at getting a message across… As you all know, I.O.N and don't forget to R &R!**

How to Win a Prank War

 _Han's p.o.v_

Mr. Skywalker was distracting Luke while I snuck into the room I'm pretty certain Mr. Lars said Luke and Mr. Skywalker can sleep in. He only has two guests rooms, so I got the couch for the night.

I quickly grabbed a pillow and pulled off the pillowcase. I then proceeded to fill the pillowcase with shaving cream, before placing the case back. Grinning, I snuck out of the room and went to find Mr. Skywalker. I found him talking to his brother.

"Excuse? Mr. Skywalker? The pillow is on the right side." I interrupted the strange tale of Mr. Skywalker getting trapped in the senate building during lockdown and a bunch of bounty hunters ran the place.

 _Owen's p.o.v_

"Excuse me? Mr. Skywalker? The pillow is on the right side." Han's voice cut through Anakin's story of one of his adventures as a Jedi.

I frowned at his strange comment, "What pillow?"

Anakin waved his hand in the air, "Come on Owen, you worry to much. It's getting late, we all should go to bed."

Agreeing with Anakin, I headed into my room. Beru was already sitting on her side of the bed. Exhausted, I layed down, only for my pillow to explode shaving cream! So that's what Han meant…

The next morning I announced that they can stay fo the weekend.

 _Luke's p.o.v_

Last night was weird. Darthy insisted I sleep in the bed on the rightside of the room while he gets the left bed. When I layed down he started to panic, and pulled apart his pillow. At least now Uncle Owen is letting us stay the weekend.

Leia was asking Darthy questions about the jedi, while I snuck into the bathroom to replace his toothpaste with shaving cream. Walking out, I ran into Uncle Owen. Smiling, I gave him two thumbs up before leaving hurriedly.

 _Owen's p.o.v_

Confused on what Luke was up to, I headed into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Only to spit shaving cream out. Luke!

 _Han's p.o.v_

I helped Mr. Skywalker place glitter bombs in the garage so that the next person who walks in, Astra, gets covered in glitter! Best prank yet! There's no way it will backfire!

 _Owen's p.o.v_

I was working on the harvest and headed into the garage to get the hoe. The second I walked in about twenty glitter bombs went off. Sighing, I left to find Beru.

 _Luke's p.o.v_

Leia and I positioned a bucket filled with pink and purple feathers and honey above the kitchen door. This will definetely work!

 _Owen's p.o.v_

I headed into the kitchen to get a glass of blue milk. Only for a bucket full of feathers and honey to fall on me!

 _Han's p.o.v_

Mr. Skywalker had me set up the ink balloons. We are using pink, purple, teal, and neon yellow ink. Placing them in the living room, I quickly left. Hopefully this prank will work. So far none has.

 _Owen's p.o.v_

I finally finished work, and just in time! My favorite show was going to start. As I walked into the living room, I heard a loud popping sound. Looking down, I noticed I was covered in colorful ink. Good thing tomorrow is Monday.

 _Darthy's_

Waking up, I stretched before rolling over to see my son watching me. "Morning Luke. I'm surprised nobody fallen for any of mine and Han's pranks." I greeted while getting out of bed.

Luke looked at me funny, "Wait! You teamed up with Han? Also I'm surprised you haven't fallen for any of our pranks yet."

I frowned at that. Something strange is going on. The force is buzzing with a warning, but of what I can't tell. Shrugging the omnimous feeling off, we headed down to breakfast. Everyone was waiting for us.

While eating pancakes, I spoke up, "Ya know Han? You basically are family now, if ya want you can call me Darthy. Your choice."

Han smiled at me, "Thanks! Say, can your kids join us in the fight against the Empire?"

I smirked, "I already gave them them permission. Gave me a heart attack. Luke called me Dad, thought he did something bad, like joining the bucketheads. If ya need any hard to get info, just let me know, okay?"

Han nodded his head. Since we finished breakfast, all of us were headed out the door when glitter, feathers, and shaving cream rained down on us. Gasping, all five of us turned to face a laughing Owen and Beru.

"You can visit all you want. We are family! But no more pranks! Also I believe I won at the best prank." Owen said in between laughs, right before he high fived Beru.

 _Ezra's p.o.v_

"So, basically Darthy isn't Darth Vader, he's an anti- imperials guy that his kids call Darthy all the time. And he told you to call him that?" I asked after Han finish his story.

Sabine, Chewbecca, Lando, and me were talking to Han about his weekend.

Han sighed, "I'm tellin' ya kid, Their not the ones Darth Vader is in a prank war with. They're in a prank war with their dad." Back to square one.


	12. Leia's Arrival

**A/N: Hi! Okay, the rebels aren't smart since they didn't question that Darthy can get the hard to reach info, that only Palpatine and the real Darth Vader have access to. Now time for our favorite twins to arrive at the Rebel Base! R &R!**

When Leia Arrives At The Base…

 _Han's p.o.v_

"The twins are coming! The twins are coming!" Ezra screamed as he ran through the base.

Maybe I shouldn't have told him that Leia, and only Leia, was coming to pick me up for a date. Then I can avoid the awkwardness of everyone congratulating me for doing what Kenobi couldn't, and Ezra's contagious excitement. I thought about asking Luke if I can borrow the Vader suit to scare the kid off, but changed my mind. Leia is going to be here any minute now.

Just then Leia came charging through the door, nearly throwing a holopad at a startled Master Kenobi. "Han! I'm so sorry I'm late! Aunt Astra overheard our plans and told Luke, who then went off and told Darthy! Who gave me the dad talk, and then he's like oh! I almost have imperial files downloaded on this pad, why don't you wait till it's done and take it to Obi wan. Then the pad died and he had to start over… I'm so so sorry!"

I placed a hand on her shoulder to calm her down, "Leia! It's okay, I'm glad Darthy got the info… how did he get the information?"

Leia glanced at me before saying in a matter of fact voice, "He has Palpatine's password."

Blink. Blink. "What?"

Leia is now rolling her eyes, "Darthy, my dad, has Palpatine, the old fruitcake that thinks he is a great leader when he is not, password, a code that gives one access to…"

Kenobi quickly interrupted her, "We know what a password is, can you tell us _how_ he got it?"

Leia shrugged, "Don't know. Dad actually is really good at tricking Palpatine and probably tricked him in giving him the password."

Feeling really good that Darthy is on our side and not the Empire's, I grabbed Leia and gave her a tour of the place. After the tour, we went to a café for lunch and talked about plans for the rest of the day. Maybe soon we can have Luke fight Darth Vader for us!

 _Darth Vader's p.o.v_

I finally arrived at work. Late. There was only one there actually working, it was Agent Kallus. Deciding since it is just the two of us, I decided to lower my shields for a bit, figuratively speaking.

"Hey Agent Kallus, how is the rebellion doing? Won any fights against the empire recently?" I asked. Only to clap a hand on my mouth piece in a failed attempt to stifle my laugh as Kallus jumped a mile in the air.

"Sir, how did… when did… You're not mad?"

"Of course not! I make it my job to know who the rebel spies are so to redirect Palpatine, and all the dark siders, away from them."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did. What is it?"

"Where do your loyalties lie?"

I smiled broadly at the question, "That's easy! I'm pro…"

 _Leia's p.o.v_

Han glanced at me as we continued our tour, "So, why does your uncle have a different last name than your unmarried aunt and father?"

I kinda of snorted out a laugh, "you do realize that Luke and I go by a different last name than all three of them, right?"

Han looked startled for a minute before asking, "Why?"

I smiled warmly at my hopefully future boyfriend, "It starts with Grandma Skywalker. She wasn't married when she had Darthy and Aunt Astra. So they use her maiden name, while uncle Owen was born after she got married. Darthy was told he can't marry mom, so they had us in secret. We use Mom's maiden name, Amidala."

Han nodded his head slowly, "You sound like royalty."

"That's because Mom was the queen of her home planet when she first met Darthy."

Han then opened the door to the hangers and mockily bowed, "After you, my princess."

I luaghed as I passed him. I really hope we can be boyfriend and girlfriend soon!


	13. And Luke Starts Training

**A/N: Hiya! Yea, we probably should see what Luke was up to and watch Agent Kallus reaction to learning that Darth Vader is a big time rebel… If you don't know that yet, oops! R &R!**

Luke and Kenobi

 _Luke's p.o.v_

So far the only one that realizes that I'm following Leia is Aunt Astra, and that is because I told her where I was headed. I was hiding behind a potted plant when,

"Luke? Why are you spying on your sister?" Old Ben snuck up on me right then.

Jumping, I turned to face him, "Umm…"

Old Ben laughed, "Maybe while you are here we can start your Jedi training?"

I grinned, "Sounds like a plan."

 _Agent Kallus p.o.v_

I stared at Darth Vader in shock. When I asked him where his loyalties lie, I wasn't expecting _that_ to be his response! If Palpatine heard him then he will be no more! Is he really pro rebellion?

"Yes, I just said that, didn't I?" Darth Vader answered my question, holding his mask under his right arm.

I gasped, "Did I said that out loud? Sorry sir… do you know a guy with two kids that goes by Darthy?"

Vader nodded his head slowly. I now realized the scarred face I always imagine Vader having was wrong. His face is unblemished and he had Blue, not red, eyes with long golden blonde hair with a hint of grey.

"My kids call me Darthy unless they are in trouble then I'm dad and worried."

I blinked slowly, "You have kids?"

Vader grinned, "Yea, twins in fact. Their names are Luke and Leia. They are the ones I was in the middle of a prank war with. My sister helped them and younger brother told us no more. Apparently he was in the crossfire."

I gaped at him, "We recruited your kids to join the rebellion… do you want to join?"

"Join what?" A legion of troopers walked up to us just then. This isn't going to end well, not at all. We are talking about betraying the emperor here!

Vader shrugged as he put his helmet back on, "We are talking about joining the rebellion, want to join us?"

The first trooper blinked slowly, "Err… we are joining the rebellion to learn their secrets, right?"

Vader chuckled, "No, we are joining them to dethrone the old fruitcake, I mean Palpatine."

All of the troopers grin, "Where do we sign up?"

Later that day…

I arrived at Rebel Base to see Luke and Leia talking with Han, Chewie, and Lando. Smiling, I walked up to Kanan.

"I got a whole legion of storm troopers wanting to join."

Kanan's eyes pop out, "How!?"

I grinned, "Let's say Dear Old Darthy told the troops that he was going to join the rebellion and now they want to join."

Kanan shook his head, "We really need to recruit the whole family!"


	14. Anakin is Bored

**A/N: Hi! Welcome to the second to last chapter of Dear Old Darthy… Umm, can I pretty please get reviews? I have nothing, well except for Astra… Time to learn what happens if you get a bored Jedi turned Sith turned Jedi. That's a mouthful. On to the story!**

Anakin Wants to Catch Up

 _Darthy's p.o.v_

I went with the twins to the Rebels base today. It'll be fine, I told Palpatine that I'm dealing with a rebellion activity. By dealing with the activity, I mean catching up with Obi Wan. I made a beeline straight to where Obi was standing.

"I thought you turned into a Sith." Obi greeted me.

I looked down at my Jedi robe I was wearing. "No Sith here, just a Jedi. Do you want to catch up, maybe recruit more storm troopers to the rebellion?"

Obi Wan shook his head, "We are lucky that a whole legion wants to join, I don't think we can get another on though."

I smirked, "I know what legion you are talking about. Just tell them that I joined and they all will want to join. It worked on the legion."

"Wait! The twins father helped recruit the legion!"

"Their mother is Padme Amadala, who is my secret wife, which makes them my twins which makes sense since twins run in the family."

"What!?" Obi shouted right before fainting.

 _Luke's p.o.v_

"Hey Han! Darthy's talking to Master Kenobi, can I crash your date?" I asked Han. Who went super pale suddenly… Oh! Leia is mentally threating me through our force bond. This is gonna be fun!

 _Darthy's p.o.v_

After Obi Wan woke up, we started hopping from planet to planet. On each planet we talked to everyone about how terrible a leader Palpatine is. We also found out that Obi can't talk without at least ten babies squealing excitedly. Once they hear I'm in the rebellion, they're all on board.

 _Obi's p.o.v_

I walked up to Agent Kallus, "You can never guess who the most wanted man is."

Kallus raised an eyebrow, "it's you, right?"

I shook my head as the rest of the rebellion leaders walked up to us, "I wish! Apparently the entire Galaxy is pro rebellion. Everyone wants Palpatine gone."

Fulcrum spoke up, "Kanan, did you find what Vader was looking for?"

Kanan shrugged, "No, but slavers are being arrested for other crimes now. That might make things easier without them breathing down our necks."

I smiled, "I know what he was looking for."

"Really, what?" Everyone asked in unison.

"His TWIN sister that was sold to a slave master when they were eight."


	15. How to Win a War

**A/N: Hiya! Okay, if you like Ninjago, I have a poll up you can do, if not onto the reviews! Nightmarebat- what's okey? Your wording it like a question and I'm confused. Jacqui- Thanks! Now, everyone please enjoy the LAST chapter of Dear Old Darthy!**

How To Win A War

 _CT6281's p.o.v_

I carefully placed the whoopee cushion underneath the throne's black cushion. Seriously, who needs so much blackness? Turning, I spotted my brothers' in arms finishing up their device. CT9162 walked over to me.

"Hey 6281, do you think we can pull this off? We are talking about a Sith Lord here." 9162 pointed out nervously.

I shrugged, "it's just one Sith, remember we have two fully trained Jedis and three Jedis in training on our side."

Just then CT9936 ran up to us, "Don't forget, if we're successful we can forget our numbers and have actual names! Also, we need to hide if this is going to work. Can't have Palpatine suspecting anything."

 _Fruitcake's p.o.v_

I walked into my throne room and promptly froze. Something feels off… Shrugging it off as my imagination, I continued to my hard earned throne. I barely sat down when several things happened at once. My seat made a very un-empire like noise and bright neon orange paint fell on top off me. And to make it worst, it was followed by bright neon blue sparkles.

I was trying to wipe the goo off my face not liking how it blinded me, when I felt Vader's presence. Growling, I spoke to him. "Can you believe this!? Someone has the guts to prank me! _ME!_ How dare they! Once I find out who did this I'll…"

"It was me." Vader interrupted me suddenly. This startled me for two reasons. One, he interupted ME; two, his voice didn't sound like its' usual talking through the mask… it sounded like _HIS VOICE_. But that is impossible, right?

Feeling fear for the first time in years, I finally glanced at whom I viewed as Vader. Only it wasn't, it was _him_ , which was even worst!

 _Anakin's p.o.v_

Walking into the throne room wearing Jedi robes instead of that stupid suit is _sooo_ exhilarating! Seeing Fruitcake covered in bright neon colors and struggling to keep it out of his eyes was even better. I quickly checked my shields in hope that my obvious mirth doesn't leak into the force.

Meanwhile Palpatine acknowledged my presence, "Can you believe this!? Someone has the guts to prank me! _ME!_ How dare they! Once I find out who did this I'll…"

I decided right now was a good time to interrupt him before he finishes that threat, "It was me."

Was that _fear_ I was feeling from him? Palpatine looked up and faced me with comically wide eyes. "No… NO! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! YOUR INJURIES… they couldn't be healed… you lost all your limbs… how is this possible?"

I smirked, "There is something even stronger than the darkside… and that is the true light of the force." As I spoke, the three troopers that volunteered to help snuck handcuffs lined with force inhibitors onto Palpatine, "Also, I decided to collect the bounty on the most wanted man alive."

The ex Emperor stiffened at that, "Oh? And who by chance is the most wanted?"

I bit back a laugh, "Funny you should ask, since I'm looking at him."

 _Rey's p.o.v_

"… Sidiuos then realized he was handcuffed and started to freak out. But it was to late, the soldiers carried him to prison where he was sentenced to death. And that, padawan is how you win a war." An older version of Luke spoke confidently as he looked me in the eye.

I raised my eyebrow, "Soo, you're saying to beat Kylo Ren I need to prank him? Maybe General Solo would have been better to ask… then again Kylo is her son… What is the true light of the force anyway?"

Luke chuckled lightly, "I thought that was clear? If the Darkside is the opposite of the Lightside AND the Darkside is hatred, then love which is the opposite of hatred IS ALSO the opposite of the Darkside AND THUS must be the Lightside."

I felt a headache coming. Did I just memorized the Jedi Code for nothing!?


End file.
